Grief During the Holidays

December is full of lights, colorful decor, family gatherings and being merry. But when you’re grieving, this season can feel painfully out of sync with your heart. While the world seems to be celebrating, you may be carrying loss, longing, and quiet sadness that feels invisible to everyone else.

If the holidays feel harder than usual, you’re not broken and you’re not alone.

Grief doesn’t follow a calendar, but the holidays tend to magnify it. Traditions highlight who is missing. Familiar songs, foods, and routines can trigger memories you weren’t prepared for. Even joyful moments can carry an undercurrent of sorrow, because joy now feels different than it once did. All of this is a normal response to loss.

You’re allowed to:

• Say no to events that feel like too much

• Modify traditions or pause them entirely

• Create new rituals that honor your grief

• Celebrate quietly—or not at all

Grief is not something you need to fix before December 25th. It’s something you’re allowed to carry. If this season feels heavy, move through it slowly. Be gentle with yourself. You’re doing the best you can and that is more than enough.

If the holidays feel hard, try to lower expectations, rest when you can, and honor who or what you miss in ways that feel meaningful to you—lighting a candle, speaking their name, or creating a quiet moment of remembrance.

Most importantly, be gentle with yourself. Grief doesn’t disappear for the holidays, and it doesn’t need to. Moving through this season slowly and honestly is enough.